The question of how to approach couples in second unions is one of the most delicate and important pastoral challenges in the Church today. With compassion and clarity, the Church seeks to offer healing, truth, and an invitation to deeper conversion. The Theology of the Body, as articulated by St. John Paul II, provides a beautiful and hopeful lens for this mission. In this article, we explore how to evangelize these couples effectively, without compromising the Church’s teachings on marriage, while fully embracing their dignity and journey of faith.
Understanding the Reality of Second Unions
Before any evangelization can begin, it’s essential to understand the lived experience of couples in second unions. Many have experienced divorce, emotional wounds, spiritual confusion, and sometimes even rejection from the Church community. Others may be unaware of the Church’s teachings on the indissolubility of marriage or have been away from the sacraments for years.
Empathy is not optional. The first step in any effective evangelization is listening without judgment, building trust, and creating a safe space for the couple to feel welcomed and valued.
The Core Message of the Theology of the Body
St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body (TOB) is a series of reflections that explore what it means to be human, to love, and to be made in the image of God. At its heart, TOB teaches that:
- The human body has a nuptial meaning — it is made for love and self-gift.
- Marriage is a sign of the love between Christ and the Church.
- True freedom comes from living in the truth of God’s design for love and sexuality.
This framework allows couples to see their own lives in the light of a greater story — one of redemption, calling, and hope.
Start with the Gospel, Not Rules
Evangelization is not about starting with prohibitions. It is about proposing the Good News — that Jesus Christ came to redeem every part of our lives, including our relationships.
Rather than focusing first on what the couple must “give up,” begin with the truth of their worth, their identity as children of God, and the call to holiness that is possible for every person. The Theology of the Body helps us speak this truth with beauty and depth, showing that chastity is not repression but freedom to love authentically.
Building Trust Through Pastoral Accompaniment
Pope Francis speaks often about the importance of pastoral accompaniment. For couples in irregular situations, the journey back to the sacraments may be complex. Some may not yet understand the Church’s teaching. Others may be in situations that are difficult to resolve.
But they are not alone.
The Church is called to walk with them — not in a spirit of relativism, but with deep patience, love, and truth. The Theology of the Body provides the language to affirm their dignity while gently inviting them into a life that aligns with God’s plan for love.
Key Principles for Evangelizing Couples in Second Unions
1. Lead with Love and Respect
Never begin with condemnation. The couple must feel loved, respected, and seen. Affirm their desire for love and family — these are good and beautiful things. Then, slowly introduce the idea that God has an even greater plan for their love.
2. Offer the Bigger Picture
Many couples may not understand why the Church teaches what it does about marriage. Use the Theology of the Body to present the beauty of sacramental marriage and the meaning of self-giving love. This can inspire a desire to learn more and to seek transformation.
3. Share Stories of Conversion
Real-life testimonies of couples who have returned to the Church, embraced chastity, or pursued annulments and convalidation can be powerful. These stories offer hope that change is possible — and joyful.
4. Clarify the Path Forward
The Church offers concrete pathways forward, including:
- Annulment processes, when appropriate
- Living in continence, if marriage is not possible
- Spiritual communion and continued participation in parish life
Present these not as punishments, but as acts of trust in God’s mercy and healing.
Challenges and Compassion
It’s important to acknowledge that this mission isn’t easy. Evangelizing couples in second unions often involves:
- Deep emotional wounds
- Complex family dynamics
- Resistance to change
That’s why the process must be relational and long-term. Consistent presence, prayer, and small steps are key. The Theology of the Body helps keep the focus on what God wants for them — not just what He wants from them.
The Role of the Parish and Community
Evangelization is not just the work of priests or catechists — it belongs to the whole Church. Parishes should create spaces where all couples feel welcomed, with opportunities for:
- Formation on love and sexuality through TOB-based programs
- Support groups for healing after divorce
- Clear, compassionate teaching on the sacrament of marriage
When couples see that the community reflects Christ’s love, they are more likely to respond to the truth.
A Vision of Redemption
In the end, the goal of evangelizing couples in second unions is not merely to “correct” their situation — it is to invite them into the redemptive love of Christ. The Theology of the Body helps us articulate that God is not indifferent to their suffering, nor blind to their desire for love. He wants to redeem, not reject.
When couples experience this message through authentic witness and truth, hearts begin to open. Healing becomes possible. And the Church fulfills her mission — to proclaim Christ to all, especially those in need of mercy.