In today’s world, purity is often misunderstood as repression or denial of desires. However, St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body (TOB) reveals that purity is not about rejection—it is about redemption. Purity allows couples to love freely, fully, and authentically, restoring intimacy to its true purpose.
How can married couples live purity in their relationship and experience a deeper love? Let’s explore.
1. What Is Purity in Marriage?
Many people assume that purity is only for single or celibate people, but TOB teaches that purity is a lifelong virtue—one that allows spouses to lo
“The heart is the battlefield between love and lust.” – St. John Paul II
Purity in Marriage Means:
Seeing your spouse as a person to love, not an object to use.
Respecting your spouse’s dignity in every aspect of marriage.
Approaching intimacy with self-giving love, not selfish desires.
Reflection Question:
- Am I treating my spouse with love, respect, and self-giving purity?
2. Why Purity Is Essential for True Love
TOB teaches that love must be free, total, faithful, and fruitful. Purity protects this vision by ensuring that:
- Love remains selfless rather than driven by selfish desires.
- Spouses see each other as gifts rather than objects.
- Intimacy reflects God’s plan for marriage, not the distorted messages of the world.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)
Practical Application:
- Examine your intentions: Is my love rooted in self-giving or self-seeking?
3. Overcoming Lust and Restoring Purity
Lust is the enemy of love because it reduces a person to an object. TOB calls couples to purify their desires, leading to deeper unity and intimacy.
How to Overcome Lust in Marriage:
Recognize the difference between love and lust – Love is self-giving; lust is self-serving.
Reject anything that distorts love – Avoid pornography, impure thoughts, or influences that objectify the body.
Ask God for grace – Prayer and Confession help renew purity.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)
Reflection Question:
- How can I renew purity in my thoughts, desires, and actions?
4. Practical Ways to Live Purity in Marriage
Living purity in marriage requires daily choices that reflect love, respect, and self-gift.
Ways to Cultivate Purity:
Deepen emotional and spiritual intimacy – Spend time in prayer and meaningful conversations.
Honor your spouse’s body and dignity – Treat each other with love and reverence.
See intimacy as a renewal of your wedding vows – A reflection of God’s love, not just physical pleasure.
Avoid influences that distort love – Guard your heart and mind from impurity.
Practical Application:
- Discuss how you can grow in purity as a couple.
5. The Joy of a Pure Love
When purity is restored, marriage becomes stronger, holier, and more fulfilling. Instead of being driven by selfish desires, love becomes free, joyful, and self-giving—reflecting the beauty of God’s plan.
Key Takeaways for a Pure Marriage:
Purity is about freedom, not repression.
Love is a gift, not a demand.
With God’s grace, any marriage can be renewed.
A pure heart leads to a pure love, and a pure love leads to a joyful marriage. By embracing TOB’s vision, couples can experience deeper unity, intimacy, and divine love in their relationship.